Gebackenes Hund für Sie?

We live in a world in which you can probably get anything you want. The long tail of the market has enabled the proliferation of almost any conceivable product or service imaginable. If you need a product that helps train you how to smile, you can learn more about it here, if you love Chip Shots Margarita & Salt Potato flavoured Chips and want to order it by the truckload, you can learn about it here along with other wild flavours, and if you want delicious Canadian made maple syrup straight from my families’ farm, you can order it here. The depth of choice can be especially deep when it comes to food. With the millions of people that have migrated over the years we’ve been given an opportunity to experience food from all over the world. Unfortunately, that doesn’t necessary mean that the migrants are especially clear on how to order those unique treats.

I was in a restaurant in Vienna called Schmitzberger along with several of my co-workers for lunch. The waitress came around rather quickly to take our orders which was ok because I knew what I wanted and had a pretty good idea of how it was said in German.

German Version

Me: Ein Gebratenes Hund Bitte.

Serviererin: Dies ist nicht ein chinesisches Restaurant. Kein Hund und Keine Katze.

Mitarbeiter: (lachen) Er meinte Backhendlsalat.

English Version

Me: A Baked Dog please.

Sassy Waitress: This is not a Chinese Restaurant. No Dogs and no Cats.

Co-worker: (laughing) He meant fried chicken salad.

Now I maintain that I said Gebackenes Huhn which would have been ok I think, but if there is one thing that I’ve learned while on my AIESEC internship so far is that when you’re handsome, people naturally like to pick on you. My advice is that you shouldn’t knock it before you try it.

Käsekrainer: A Testament to the Ductility of Cheese

There are few things that I care about more in this world than cheese. It is a topping synonymous with the Canadian national identity when coupled with gravy and French fries. It is a friend of crackers everywhere and puts a smile on the faces of children across the globe. After years of hard work as a topping and a track record of proven results it appears clear that cheese needed take it to the next level. Enter stage right: the Käsekrainer.

The Käsekrainer is a sausage that is 10-20% cheese and was invented in Austria during the 1980’s according to Wikipedia. They are evidently a staple of every Würstelstand in Vienna and may be an essential part of your bar night ritual.

At first glance it may appear trivial that I’m wasting your precious time writing about a cheese sausage but I want you to consider just how incredible this concept is. Someone decided, probably mid dinner-time sausage, that regular sausage just wasn’t good enough and that we the people deserve more from our pink bellied animal friends. We decided that after we’ve killed poor babe the pig that we’d grind up his insides to be stuffed inside a tube along with a product we’ve prepared from his good friend and lifelong ally, Molly the cow. Could we possibly dominate a species more than this?

It seems bizarre that this type of meal-time innovation has become accepted every where with no real thought into why it is necessarily exists or that it just seems plain rude. It’s a good thing that this doesn’t bother me because even though they look disgusting, they’re damn delicious!

This song translates to “everything has an end and a sausage has two” which is why I’m leaving you. The story follows that a man decides to end his marriage simply based on this idea. The video is quite cheeky. Enjoy!

AIESECers are an Intern’s Best Friend

It’s commonly known that diamonds are a girl’s best friend and although it’s usually expected that this expression be abused so that a girl may obtain shining objects from her knight in shining armour, I feel that the scope of the expression can be expanded to something more meaningful. I’m no geologist, in fact I’m not good at most things but I strongly feel that the authentic diamonds of this world are the AIESECers. To keep things simple and to force my point the word girl can be expanded to include all genders of interns.

These incredibly good-looking volunteers work long hours to connect interns with organizations and the local culture. They rarely get acknowledged for their effort nor do they get near enough drinks bought for them. While I’m not suggesting that I have been so crafty as to win over even one friend, I do feel as though I’ve been shown a little bit of TLC from Vienna ’52.

It’s easy to complain and somehow harder to give praise. At times an intern may falter by shovelling complaints your way while dealing with a combination of home-sickness and fitting in. The fact is that we’ve been spoiled. These sexy superstars go above the call of duty and somehow we’ve gotten quite fond of you holding our hand. We’re sorry that we wake up crying in the middle of the night when the power in our flat is out and when the magistrate is taking their sweet time with time-sensitive paperwork as well as everything in between.

I’m not sure quite how you manage to balance school, AIESEC, and a social life while continuing to look runway ready rockstar ravishing. At times I’m sure motivation can wear thin when you recognize that you’re completing difficult tasks with strict deadlines that are tied to little or no compensation. On top of that you’ve been tasked with connecting with a bunch of people from foreign countries whom you’ve never met before which is not unlike the risk a mother takes when birthing a child. Your kid may turn out to be a complete jerk but you’re required to love him or her anyhow. So I guess in a way you’re all mothers. It’s small potatoes but I hope you’ll accept my thanks and I hope that I can offer something in return.

Diamonds are rare and difficult to find. However, I seem to have stumbled upon a repository of them in Vienna. Thank you for showing me the AIESEC way and I hope that you always continue to shine.

A Canadian in Schönbrunn Garden

This is one of the Viennese’s most celebrated castles and green space. It is a haven for tourists that desire to clamor about spectacular castle and marvel at the finely kept garden. The castle in quite impressive and I’d consider living there if I didn’t have to deal with the thousands of people that would visit each day. It’s not that I’m a bad host or a particularly shy person, I just get attached to people very quickly and couldn’t bear to experience the loss of a thousand potential lifelong friends over the course of a single day.

The pathways are wide enough to drive an army tank down which, though possible, is strictly prohibited.  No matter which direction you chose to walk in, you are bound to encounter a beautiful monument of statue exalting the triumphs of the republic. One such monument pictured below on the right is symbolic of the strength of the foundation the Austrian republic is built upon. It is represented by the tower built on the backs of turtles. Though I’m not sure how the Austrians chose the turtle to carry their country into the future, the country appears to be doing quite well.  There are many tall trees that surround the park as if to suggest that the palace and its garden are a part of it’s own divine ecosystem. Again, I’d love to live here but I fear I’d come up a bit short for paying the grounds keeping staff each month.

Up the hill and past the cement laden turtles is a sort of ornate gate (pictured below), of the variety you can dine in and photograph extensively. This gate overlooks the castle and it’s pristine garden. Down below you must resist the urge to run through the garden singing songs from the sound of music. Of the Austrians I’ve met, they neither know much about the movie or care to talk about it so don’t do it. Off to the right side of the garden is a labrinyth that you can run through if you enjoy the feeling of being lost and a zoo if you enjoy the sight of wild animals in captivity.

On the way back before crossing the road I noticed that a horse and carriage could possibly block my jaywalking attempt. It turns out that the leisurely pace meant that I had ample time to do my deed. Somehow I feel more safe crossing blindly in front of a horse and carriage than a one-ton piece of motorized steel. Must be one of those Good Ole Days type moments.

Afterwards I made my way to the bus to take me home and was greeted with an amusing spectacle of a visibly perturbed young man stress about waiting for the bus. His method of dealing with it consisted of pacing back and forth and talking to himself. I’ve never understood the anxiousness of the people of public transit.

All in all, a good day out!

Coffee to Stay

In North America we take our coffee and our food everywhere. The things we consume rarely ever have a chance to sit still. Your coffee was imported from Columbia and the wheat for your morning bagel was brought in from western Canada just for you. Sitting down and enjoying a meal that spent days in transit to meet with your taste buds may only happen a few times a week and of those times, we have become accustomed to supplement the conversation with television. The company we enjoy when we do stay can lend broader perspective to a week where you’ve been going about work with the blinders on. If you find yourself alone, no matter, this time can be perfectly spend thinking and planning for future.

Maybe you don’t have time and we can understand that. However, it does seem possible to find about 15 minutes each day to dedicate to conversation or quiet contemplation. Consider getting that coffee to stay and save yourself the trouble of burning your lip and cursing wildly.

* The coffee pictured above is a Viennese coffee called Melange. It is always served up with a glass of water and it’s always delicious. I’m sorry Tim but I’ve fallen for another.

A Canadian beer drinkers guide to Vienna

First things first, relax. I know you’ve heard wonderful things about the fine offering of European beers and have high hopes to sample them all and make your country proud through egregious consumption but you should take it slow. Here are some things you need to know:

1) Beer and other spirits are much more “cost effective” in Austria.

You may have been used to paying $12-$15 Canadian for a 6-pack and upwards of $35 per 24 pack of your favourite lager in Canada. In Austria, that same beer or a beer of equal or better quality will cost you about 5€ or less for 6 delicious cold ones. One unique difference is that there is no distinction for tall boy cans as we know in North America but don’t worry the big beers won so you won’t find those amateur 355 m.l. cans anywhere. If you`ve become accustom to buying beer in 2-4`s, there’s no problem in Vienna and they`ll happily accommodate you. Each beer is roughly 0.70€ per 500 m.l. can (about 17€/2-4) and comes gift wrapped for your convenience.

The local beer is called Ottakringer and seems to be quite available all over the city if you wish to contribute more directly to the local economy. You still have easy access to Heineken and Corona’s if you don’t feel like adapting.

Ottakringer Heller (Blond Lager)                     Statue depicting man’s struggle for the perfect beer

 

If you prefer wine then you can easily obtain some of a quality unknown to myself for 2 or 3€ and all spirits are available at the many grocery stores in the city. Vienna has many local vineyards due to it’s favourable climate and as such I’m confident that you’ll find one that pleases you. I welcome any suggestions.

The only thing that should scare you is that most grocery stores close around 6 or 7 p.m. in Vienna. There are a few that are kind enough to leave their doors open until 9 p.m. One of those Grocery stores is called Billa and if you find yourself near the University of Wien, all is not lost.

2) Bars are open much later in Austria than in Canada.

A usual night might consist of beginning to drink at 7 or 8 p.m. depending on the time zone of your favourite hockey team, then someone shouts “BAR” and you all consume like a madman to head out into the streets around 10:30/11 p.m. You were used to last call happening around 2 a.m. and even though you may have been kicked out for downing too much tequilla, you could usually plan to stay out until 3 a.m. at the latest.

In Austria you probably had one or two pints with your Wiener Schnitzel at dinner. You will then carry on with the momentum per Canadian tradition. When someone shouts “BAR” relax, you don’t need to drink yourself stupid. Austrian law allows you to consume your spirits on the street at a more reasonable pace. Pay attention Canadian law makers! Drinking on the tram is prohibited which is only enforced if you’re visibly intoxicated and annoying other patrons. Also please note that you might be out later than you expected due to the fact that bars close late but you can relax knowing that the U-Bahn trains run all night on Friday and Saturday so it’s safe to say that you should rest up before going out with the Austrians. You may never come home.

This Bud’s for you…

The evidence of American cultural imperialism is littered across much of the modern world. No matter where you are, it seems as though you are never too far from a McDonald’s Big Mac, a cold delicious Coca-Cola, and you’ll be looking dapper in your Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt if you’re careful not to spill. I’m both amazed at how seamlessly international corporations have exported their brands across the world by changing a few ingredients in their recipe for success and perplexed that visible brand imperialism has not been met with more resistance. While Vienna still has a very unique flavour to it’s cultural identity and much more that I have yet to experience, it seems that there has been slight move to a sort of global homogenization of culture.

California’s movie making factory is churning out relatable idioms that resonate across an entire generation of youth. Many of us integrate these expressions into our communication style and they seem to generate a feel good moment when the person you just met “gets it.” I was able to make a connection and a new “friend”, if I can be so bold in the assumption, over the movie Eurotrip. He told me that “It’s a good thing I came in Summer because in Winter it can be very depressing” and I made sure that I was polite to say ” Mi Scusi” if I had to slip by him. Even in countries that are geographically so distant, the powerful force of globalization and effective word-of-mouth brings us together in a rather peculiar way.

From what I have observed so far, I was not surprised to learn of one of the earliest trademark disputes in the world’s history involved the United States. The dispute was between Anheuser-Busch and the Czech Republic producer, Budvar, over who owns the trademark and the right to sell Budweiser Beer. After reviewing the American Budweiser.com I noticed that the Anheuser-Busch makes no reference to the trademark dispute but instead claims that in 1876 Adolphus Busch pioneered brewing the better way. The Budweiser.at website claims that the beer’s roots date back to 1265 and makes explicit reference to the dispute. The EU has ruled that Anheuser-Busch can sell it’s version of the brand under the name Bud and the United States will allow import of the Czech brand under the name Czechvar.

In the meantime I don’t like to argue, let’s ignore the barrage of advertisements and visual stimuli. Let’s instead enjoy a delicious pint, strudel type treat, and take in the experience and enjoy the view. Prost!

Walking is so old school

In Vienna, they have they have a brand of walking called nordic walking which is apparently much better than the old fashioned way. I stumbled across this on a beautiful day out in the city. I first say two women of the sort in the picture below walking with what looked like ski poles in each hand. At first I dismissed it as simple way to transport a set of ski poles across a walkable distance. I also admired them for their bravery to integrate it into their walking regimen. One can only hope that you integrate whatever object that you’ve been charged with carrying into your unique brand of gait.

In all seriousness this appears to be a good idea to improve posture and is especially effective for anyone suffering from Osteoporosis and other joint related ailments. I’ve just never seen anything of the sort in Canada, we just use our plain old boring legs. Perhaps it’s time for a change. The product boasts posture improvement and a calorie burn rate that is 33% more effective than normal walking.

Image Source: http://urbanpoling.com/pages/nordic-walking-made-easy?gclid=CMj4g5LK1agCFRof3wod_iPZQw

Wien You’re Strange

The rosy hue of the welcome weekend has come and gone and the week is taking on a similar form to Canada’s operating system. One important difference that poses a barrier to full integration is the language. While many Viennese know at least some English and are happy to help, it is slightly humiliating to approach new people and state your language handicap as your greeting. It is even worse when you do not have the opportunity to first explain that you do not understand before being endowed with information in German from store clerks.

Being strange is not just limited to language, it also lies in common expressions, pricing for goods and services and cultural differences.

A projector in North America is known as a Beamer in Austria.

I paid 15€ for a SIM card that includes 100 free minutes or text messages. Once I’ve exhausted that I’ll get the plan that costs 4€ for 1GB of data and 0.04€/min and 0.04€/text message. This is peanuts compared to a standard bill of $70 in Canada. Groceries are comparable in price and may even be a bit more expensive.

The United States may be an international target for the world’s hate but the North American style of business and their confidence in networking settings is greatly admired by the University of Wien business students. Of the students that I have spoken with they say that the English language is a lot more efficient and it’s easier to approach with it than the German language. It seems odd that anyone with three or four languages under their belt could feel that any uni-lingual American still has an edge on them.

Finally, Austrian toilets look like they have a sort of shelf which is much different than the deep cavernous bowls in North America.

I’ve been living in Austria for just under a week now and I still have much to explore and do. While I may never fully be rid of this feeling of being strange, nor would I ever want to be normal, I will do my best to fit in.

A First Look at Vienna

I am now officially a Canadian expat. While I feel the term itself carries a negative connotation I feel positively at home.

The first thing I noticed is that there seems to be many more similarities than visible differences. Popular culture has a way of bringing people together through a sort of vicarious shared experience. There are many popular expressions and movie quotes that translate across country borders. So far the movie Borat and Eurotrip have helped me to make friends. While my personal brand of humour may not be as effective as it clearly was in Canada, I have found that if I don’t hear the sweet validation of laughter after a bawdy pun that I can simply say that it’s a Canadian thing. This will quell the awkward glances of people you are sharing dinner with and return social order.

Vienna is a beautiful city. The city itself doesn’t have the towering buildings and the skyline that are normally synonymous with powerful cities. The architecture reminds me of Old Quebec. The older buildings are close to the street and the city is very green. There are trees everywhere and each morning I’ve had a choir of song birds play soundtrack to my meals.

Breakfast consists of delicious coffee and a large variety of breads. The bread was put to work by acting as a place holder for finely sliced ham and mozzarella cheese.  There was also a delicious strudel with a filling similar to cream cheese (but healthy) that was very tasty. In the afternoon we toured to market which seemed a lot more like a glorified yard sale than a market that we would think of in Canada. I purchased a 6-pack of Ottakringer, which is the local beer, for 3.40€ that would be put to work later on in the evening. We then decided ice cream was necessary. It turns out there is no distinction between gelato and ice cream as we know it in Canada. Gelato won and I’m very ok with that.

I was later introduced to the AIESEC team and was able to get to know them better over wiener schnitzel and a unique style of potato salad. I was made fun of for taking a picture of my meal which means that not all that much has changed since I moved from Canada. It is customary that before you start drinking a new beer that you Prost (cheers) everyone at the table with a beverage and look into each person’s eyes. I was worried that my soul was being harvested at first but you get used to it after it’s gone. I brought up the game duck, duck, goose which is a conversational staple for me. It turns out that no one in Europe had the privilege of growing up with this delightful game. I can only imagine that they all had miserable childhoods. The conversation flowed in and out of English and German. It turns out that most Europeans are fluent in 3 or 4 languages. I feel self-conscious being the only uni-lingual person in the country so I won’t yet be able to ruin jokes in German and French.

Later we went out to a house party where I continued along a seemingly impossible task of making friends. We shared a few drinks and since we were conveniently arranged in a circle played a friendly game of ming, mang, mong. This is a very simple game but after a few drinks many people continued to make mistakes and had to pay toll to the mysterious clear bottle of alcohol as penance. I attempted to teach the group the drinking game yeah haw, which I know is against the cardinal rule but I wanted to fit in. This worked well for a little while and the gun and bar fights didn’t result in too many casualties.

We left peacefully enough at around 3 a.m. and played a light game of football in the streets of Vienna. The night would not be complete without a Frankfurt so I ceded to my desires and was pleasantly satisfied.

So far so good!