Just a small town boy…

What is there to say about a town of 1000 people? Many questions come to mind. Are they all related? Do they still depend on the town elders to hold sacred the secrets of the past? Have they heard about the internet? These are all relevant questions which have answers, some of which may confuse you.

There is a small town called Mildmay nestled in southwestern Ontario that is not unlike many small towns across the world. There are four primary points of entry and exit as well as a single traffic light to control the flow of eager cottagers during the summer months and snowmobiles in the winter. The main street is about a city block in length with an activity level similar to that of a near consumed apple core crawling with a few scant ants. The shopping district is wired complete with a multi-channel speaker system that is used to play local radio and to announce the floats during the annual Christmas celebration dubbed “the hanging of the green”. There is a local newspaper called “The Crier” that some years ago won the number one newspaper with circulation under 1000.  I know what you’re thinking, stop bragging about this small town oasis and get to the point. The last day in my small town represents the last time I was happy living inside a box.

The small town mentality thinks within a box which is ok because the box works somehow. For some reason you only require the kinship of your immediate family and a friends. The only brand names that matter are those associated with family. If you are a Fortney you’re known for being as “Phoney as a Fortney”, if you’re a Huber you have a goddammed horseshoe stuck up your ass, and if you’re a Voisin well then you’re just some arrogant prick that thinks he’s funny enough to write a blog about the whole thing. Happiness is abound inside of a predictable ecosystem that contains all of the people you care most about.

Living abroad has been great so far, though it seems absent of some aspect of what a fulfilling life ought to consist of. I left Ontario because I was feeling restless and thought I needed international experience to quell that never-ending nagging of a search. After being here for just two months the nagging somehow persists and it appears evident that the peaceful dream-state that I thought came along with living abroad and doing meaningful work will not be enough.

Is the simple life such a terrible thing to slip into? I’m worried that if I do eventually get there that I risk that the need to search will not soon dissipate. Will Saturday morning cartoons with the kids be enough? Will Sunday pancakes and visits with the family be enough? Or will activities disconnected from any kind of search be viewed as a hindrance to progress leading to the accumulation of an increasing debt of opportunity cost?

Either way, one thing that will not soon change is my love for Journey and this song that every drunk person in a bar seems to know line for line.

Protected: Complaints and Grievances 2010

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

When Worlds Collide

When you think of the world what do you think of? Don’t worry I’ll wait. Do you think of the complex order of mother earth, her climate, her atmosphere or did you think of the world in terms of the tiny subsection of the planet that you call your home? Admit it, it’s harder to think much less even comprehend the entire world. It’s just too complex. Whereas your world is tangible. You can actually see that old tree you used to swing on at a young age, those mesmerizing rows of cornfields and the endless rolling hills that you ventured across to get to wherever it was you were going. Isn’t it strange that someone across the Atlantic or even someone in the same province or territory as you envisions something entirely different? Isn’t that why we are so intoxicated with our sensory perceptions when we visit other countries? We may see life on a tropical island as an oasis but the people that live there just see it as their world.

I never thought of small town Mildmay, Ontario could ever be a subject of interest to anyone especially from a metropolitan area. There is suddenly plenty of worldly views I can share about living in an area that values space, a strong sense of community and their meat n’ patates. Toronto was initially an adjustment for me. After finding out that I was not as likely to get shot, stabbed, or robbed as I originally thought I began to redefine my worldly expectations. If those crimes are as common as I was originally made to believe I feel slighted that no one has yet taken the initiative to put me in my place.

I’m about to embark on “A Whole New World” type of opportunity and am looking forward to challenging my concept of what my vision of the world entails. I’m not concerned with wooing a princess on a magic carpet ride as much as I am interested in gaining direct insider information on what makes the world a holistic ecosystem. Vacations are nice because they interrupt our system of expectations for our daily experience. When you’re gone for a week you can maintain that glow which is a sort of honeymoon effect. Once that wears off and you’re gone for longer than a month is when you will undoubtedly change and feel the need to integrate into this new world which is when the most learning will occur. I hope to learn as much as possible about our differences and more importantly about our similarities in order to expand my definition of what is intrinsically human behaviour. It’s too often that I hear stories about human behaviour in other parts of the world and the word “weird” comes to mind. I’m looking forward to what might happen and how I’ll change as a result when worlds collide.

For your convenience the link to the song that’s stuck in your head. “A Whole New World” singing both Jasmine and Aladdin’s parts by Nick Pitera.

Living Life on Autopilot

Autopilot is term that typically evokes associations with being comfortable (if you are a happy flyer), cruising along with no turbulence, and taking comfort that you’ll be arriving at your chosen destination shortly. We are also accustom to using the term “standby” which is another passive term that indicates that you’ll be ready when you’re called upon. We’ve all taken things one step at a time and chilled out for awhile. Availability for opportunity does sometimes knock on some of those fortunate door owners but the great majority of that precious sustenance of life that breads purpose and a rich supply of happiness comes more often to opportunity seekers.

Sooner or later

Later is the cure for our nows. Surely everything we want to accomplish can be completed at a later date which is best characterized by the old maxim “it’s never too late”. When indecision plagues you as much as it does me sometimes it’s tough to decide how to most effectively use my nows. The paradox of choice seems to be one of the main impediment to making timely decisions. As Barry Schwartz describes, the paradox exists when choice is so abundant, as normally is in north American society, that it causes paralysis in decision making which can also cause us to regret the decisions that we were able to make more often.

Einstein’s dreams by Alan Lightman was a fictional account of all possible permutations of time as Eintein may well have imagined them while working his theory of relativity. One example was the world in which time was infinite and no one died. Two classes of people existed the nows and the laters. The nows seek to do all things within the realm of possibility because outside the constraints of time all things can be accomplished. The laters are not in a hurry to do anything since all things can be accomplished in time. Both lifestyles seem perfectly reasonable and are worth considering as a chosen state of mind.

A wise motivational poster put procrastination in perspective for me:

If it never seems like the right time to do something make the time otherwise the timing will never be right. Regrets are among the least valuable items of social currency. The best story tellers seem to be those that act on impulse and worry little about the implications of those actions. I wish’s and I should have’s are common excuses for inaction and help to temporarily relieve the pangs of confronting change or embracing opportunity but such expressed sentiments fail supplement the experience. Often times things are less complicated than we make them out to be. Failure and rejection may be bitter pills but you can sweeten the experience with what you learn. “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.” Samuel Becket

You can’t always get what you want

Can you turn a failed search into an opportunity? It’s extremely frustrating when you can’t get what you want but positive things have a remarkable tenacity to grow from shit. Just today I was searching for a car rental service that will work around my schedule and everything is closed on Sunday and Monday for the stat holiday. This tacks on an extra day to my bill which is a difference of another 70 dollars to my moving costs. In addition to this most car companies will not cater to the under 25 market. The common policy is to charge a fee to discriminate against age and to not allow the segment to rent vans or trucks. In addition to that the websites are poorly thought out. They have been designed to spit back your proposed reservation when it doesn’t jive with their business hours, so as to say “sorry please choose a day that’s more convenient for us.” Why not design the website with tabs to select available dates so that we can view availability across other days to allow for greater flexibility and ease of use like the airlines do? In short the customer is not at the centre of the website’s design and most major car rental companies are guilty. So to sum it up, we get charged more for a rental we don’t necessarily want on inconvenient dates (or spend a great deal of time trying to get what we want).

I think I speak for most people of the under 25 market when I say that now is the time that we spend seeking out companies with service that we can look forward to interacting with to become longstanding customers. Why then are we ignored or penalized for seeking a connection?

Am I the only one that sees great opportunity in this market? Autoshare and zipcar have nailed the convenience factor for short term rentals but to my knowledge have not expanded the program to allow for longer term rentals for say a weekend. Additional caveats are the application fee and memberships fees where you must basically pay to be considered as a customer. It may work to manage demand initially and the volume of applications but discourages customers from sampling the service and limits the potential size of the pool of loyal customers. The thing that makes the service so valuable is the large number of locations to rent and drop off vehicles from so the influx of more casual users would generate more investment capital for cars and locations.

I may be speculating too much on the nature of the business and making too many assumptions since the age 19-25 may be a very expensive market to service. However, since no business seems to be targeting us, there would be a great opportunity to develop the segment into a profitable business opportunity. At the very least, major players need to reevaluate their website design to be more customer-centric rather than building around your business hours and help us get what we need.

If you’re as frustrated as me then maybe the stones will calm you down…

Life is a highway…

Life isn’t easy but it doesn’t need to be overwhelmingly complicated either, Barry Schwartz discusses how the “Paradox of Choice” causes paralysis in decision making. How often and how much time have you spent contemplating and amassing all of the opportunity available to you? A simple google search could yield a googol of possible opportunities albeit each with varying risk and cost but worth contemplating nonetheless. Sitting on your hands keeps them warm but doesn’t get the blood flowing to the extremities like jumping out of an airplane or making a major change. Books like The Second World by Parag Khana and The World is Flat by Thomas Freidman explain in clear detail that despite our abundance of options we do far less with them than those with few. The third and second world are becoming increasingly empowered by advances in technology and are doing amazing things with a narrower subset of options since having fewer options makes that one opportunity a make or break situation. When we choose to give up or choose to do nothing we run the risk of falling behind and becoming irrelevant or loosing sight of our purpose.

“Finish your homework. People in China and India are starving for your job.” Thomas Friedman, It’s a Flat World Afterall

This statement is not just a call to action based on the increasingly competitive nature of the job market but should also be taken as advice to deal with any feeling of entitlement that we may be harbouring and do something about it.

Our imagination is an incredible machine and it allows us to try before we buy. While we can imagine ourselves doing all of the wonderful things we wish to do, we can just as easily imagine all the reasons why that idea is ridiculous and infeasible. The mental blocks we put up can protect us because we are creatures of habit and change can cause significant stress initially but it is true that you need to break a few eggs to make that omlette you crave every morning. While many paths are set out before you it’s better to journey out than to stand quietly at the crossroad.

Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome

While feet themselves are neither delicious or particularly high in nutrional value they can be harsh but effective medicine for the zealot. We’ve all had moments when we talk a little too enthusiastically and are a little too loose-lipped or divulge information that was not meant for public broadcast. The result is immediate embarassment, overwhelming regret, and a hyper-apologetic disposition on behalf of the messenger which I affectionately refer to as foot-in-mouth syndrome. The afflicted will exhibit signs of shock, emotional turmoil and depending on the comment a scowl or look that can kill.

The lesson here is to be mindful of what you say and be aware of the potential toxicity of your words. They carry more power than you would think. The experience of tasting your own foot is initially sour and depending on the relative state of repair may be extremely unappetizing but afterwards it can be taken as a lesson in humility. It’s easy to be self-righteous in a group of your peers but take a fish out of water and you may find yourself flopping around with no abound sympathy.

Wish I Could…

“Wish I could make it this weekend, I’m sure you’ll have fun without me” is my least favourite in my repertoire of available excuses. While it is intrinsically vain to cite myself a contributor or a net exporter of fun in this example, I digress. Am I so selfish as to examine the nature of potential events in terms of their relative utility or do I simply fail to realize the social utility of following through on your promises and being there when you know that someone is counting on you.

Some of the best times are the one’s that result in unexpected pleasantries. While I am discussing relationships between known friends, I’m sure that pleasantries with a stranger can have similar “sexy results” but that is a different story. Consider the impact left on someone when you chose to “not lose touch” with someone and make that long overdue phone call out of the blue. I’ve heard “she’s really busy so we don’t seem to talk anymore” too many times to ignore.

When we underestimate the outcome of a given event relative to another, do we stand to gain more by choosing to experience it? Can our expectations be an anchor we use to try to keep predicted and actual outcome in balance? If so should we aim to keep our expectations low and be serial pessimists? Surely not, since the negative ninny is less likely to receive the invitation in the first place. These questions are confusing but somehow don’t require answer since such nuances matter little when we strip away the experience and instead choose to cultivate the relationship.

Friends come and go, love will grow and may someday fade but the memory is kept and relived when you meet again. It’s the moments that count more than the summary of the experience, one makes for great biographies but the ever-elusive moment is more difficult to describe. Minimize regret, make the call and dial into something more powerful than your own selfish desires.

Wouldn’t You Agree?

Would you agree with me if I told you that most people are good people? That’s a tough question that would no doubt result in an epic debate and perhaps a few casualties. However, I find that when we frame a question with our own point of view, we are usually just looking for someone to stroke our ego. It seems that leaving your audience with only a yes or no response usually begs a positive response. To do otherwise could cause offense to the speaker or interrupt the speaker’s train of thought.

I am not arguing that to be objective we shouldn’t express our opinions but rather that we recognize the pitfalls of framing and seeking out affirmation. If you want a truthful opinion ask for it rather than confirm you own, since you may stand to benefit from a fresh perspective. You can also effectively alienate your audience by leaving no room for the dialogue to go both ways after which you may even observe disagreement in body language. If you haven’t yet I strongly recommend reading a book on the subject try my recommendation.

I suppose looking for confirmation has useful applications in business, especially in sales. The less room you leave for possible disagreement the more likely you are to impulse the customer and make the sale.

“So you want An air conditioner with at least 8,000 BTU’s and you want it to be energy efficient?”
(I am currently without so any AC seems likes good deal to me)

It’s tough to disagree with “sexy” attributes that are universal to most consumers. Just make sure you’re not missing out on the deterministic attributes that are specific to your needs as this could lead to buyer’s remorse in the form of cognitive dissonance. Be wary of this confirmation bias and recognize that it can lead you to overlook important details which could lead to a black swan event. Because at the end of the day we all just want to make the best decisions possible, right?